You don’t want a love story

The thing about love stories is they’re just that.

The story is the thing—the beginning, the middle and the end. All the characters, the plot twists, every line of dialogue and every change of scene revolves around the love story. Everything and everyone involved serve little purpose beyond getting this love story over the finish line. There’s no story beyond a love story; because it is the whole story.

A story that starts and ends with love is a beautiful thing to behold and a wonderful thing to feel, but it is static by design. It captures a moment in time; we must freeze the frame at exactly the right moment.

That’s why we love romances. In an endlessly complicated and daunting world, they are simple and digestible (thank God). But they are, unfortunately, incompatible with the reality of the human experience.

I had a love story once and it was my absolute favourite story to tell. But now, older and wiser, I see that the thing about a favourite love story is that we expect it to stay the same, and in real life, people change.

Love stories need flat characters; likable and well-written, but flat. Because once we start including too much character depth, the story takes on a life of its own. Love stories are meant to feel safe. But real life, for better or worse, is simply not. And so I fear we must let the love story go.

Because once I let go of the expectations and the limitations of a love story, all kinds of side quests emerged. My life deepened and stretched into places I never imagined—to my shock, I was more than that love story.

And so are you. You’ll always be bigger than any love story you’re a part of and once you realize that, you’ll be just fine.

You deserve a big, full blockbuster of a story, with drama and climaxes and misdirection and happy surprises. And more importantly, you deserve someone with a story of their own too.

Hopefully, those stories talk to each other. They flirt, seduce, comfort and complement. But they need to be separate stories told in two distinct voices. Voices that were made for a duet; magical together, but just as beautiful on their own. Always just as beautiful on their own.

Love will always be a part of my story because my very existence is characterized by love. I experience love constantly and consistently, without ever having asked for it. Once I released the desire and need for a love story, a story full of love emerged—but that is not the same as love story.

Because a love story can only ever be that. And I guess I want more.